Dear Proud-to-be-an-Atheist

I won't tell you this to your face but.... I feel so sorry for you. I like you, have even come to love you, and it makes me so sad to see your struggles in life with no one beside you to help you carry the load. If only you knew the boundless and eternal love of God. If only you could feel Jesus' arms encircle you and dissolve your pain into only warmth. But you reject Jesus and deny God. so it is.

I've known you since you were 5 years old, a friend of my son's. I have a photo of you all at his July birthday party when you were all painted up like Indians, making muscles and silly faces before the ensuing waterfight.

You were always the quiet one. The one that never really looked you in the eye. Always guarded. Shy to the very definition and... wary. Afraid to let anyone see your heart. And that was even before your Mom left your Dad... and both of you kids to fend for yourselves.

I knew your Mom and liked her back then. We were all shocked but, of course, know one really knows what is happening in another's marriage. She must have had her reasons.

I am surprised, really that you and Casey have remained friends all these years. You are so very different but Casey has always been attracted to the "downtrodden" and I suppose you value the fact that he sticks by you even in your quietness and your intellectualism (which is way beyond him) and just lets you be you. Casey is good at that. You are also tolerant of his sometimes arrogance and his own neediness to be loved. A good match perhaps for lifelong friends.

As the mother of your friend I have remained at the very edges of your life. You are 22 years old and you have a mother who loves you...but I have tried to stay interested and involved. We encourage your participation in our family as much as possible. You show up our dinner table now and then and you are always welcome there. Casey has taken you with us on our family ski trip and our family vacation camping in Custer State Park. That was only a week after your father died of brain cancer.

You are still the quiet one but I have also seen your funny side. Your wit is quick and can be stinging. When you let loose, and I'm sure you do with your friends, you can be the funniest one there with your smart remarks. I am certain there is so much more to you than you let on. You are incredibly creative and artistic and smart. You have just graduated from college and now you are searching, searching, searching.

You tried to get into the Peace Corps but you were not accepted. What a disappointment that was for you. That's the reason I invited you to join us on the Mission Trip to Mississippi. I warned you that it was a group of Methodists but you came anyway. I know you must've hated those daily devotionals and worships every evening but you came.

Of anyone I know, YOU NEED GOD IN YOUR LIFE. He is what you are searching for! I have found there are two kinds of people that just find God impossible. The wealthy (just about every American by the world's standards, see www.globalrichlist.com ) have a little problem putting God first. It is my biggest struggle as a Christian. The second is the Intellectual. If you can't explain it, if it doesn't make sense, if there is no proof, if YOU can't understand it, well, it just can't be possible. You have such a big belief in your own power of intellect that there is no possibility for something that is beyond your understanding. Too bad.

So...try to expose you to what real family life is like, not all perfect by a long shot but plenty of love and closeness. I try to show you that all Christians aren't puitans and judgemental. Yeah, we are probably all hypocrits now and then or more often but we just keep trying to do better. We know we can't give up because God is counting on us. He loves us through our mistakes and our questions and he shows us th joy in the small moments and the good in everything even when things look bad. Oh, how I wish you knew this, too. You need our Savior.

Dear Father-in-law

Yesterday was Father's Day. The family all gathered in your home once again. You told me that all six of your children made it by, and all of the 10 grandchildren that still live in town! There was pride in your voice. It was your oldest grandson's first Father's Day as a father himself and he brought the twins, your first great-grandchildren, with him. He's a doctor now and his knowledge, both medical and of your family, has been invaluable to all of us in the last few months.

It is likely that this will be your last Father's Day, now that you are in Cardiac Hospice Care. They say that you have been living on borrowed time for the last three years...your heart can't get better...it can't get worse (it can only stop beating altogether). You are staying positive but you know the score. Yesterday you told me you wanted to put some of your clothes in the Garage Sale, you told my boys to come and get all the copper pipe you have stored in your basement. You heard it is quite valuable right now. You told them to go sell it at salvage and keep the money. You are preparing, aren't you?

So I remember back 28 years to when I first met you, Vinny's funny Irish dad, Patrick. Born on St. Patrick's Day, a first generation American born of an Irish immigrant father, who traveled to America by himself at the age of 14, and a mother who was a product of the famous Orphan Trains, gathered up and sent to the midwest where she became a "domestic" for her adopted family. You love to talk about it all.

You were not at all crazy about the idea of your youngest son marrying "out of the faith" but we did it anyway. We are still the only non-catholics in the family! It was a big deal; a disappointment. Yet on our wedding day you whispered in my ear "I now have more daughters than I have sons." You have had my heart ever since.