Dear Mourning Friend,

I hurt for you today. I have seen you go through so much as she wrestled with death. I have seen you cope with it all gracefully and with incredible strength of spirit. I admire you so much. You never gave in to self-pity even when the caretaking began to take a toll on your own health. You stayed.

I saw you trying to help her; get her to eat, get her medications right, get her up when she requested it. I wondered why. I asked what would happen if she didn't eat and you explained that her blood sugar was already haywire and she could die. And we both realized at the same time that she already was dying. But you couldn't stop helping her, loving her, even when she wasn't "her" anymore.

I listened as you told me the stories of what she said and how she didn't remember anything and said crazy things that would be funny if she wasn't out of her head..if she wasn't dying. I listened when you told of the impossible demands she made and the ungrateful and mean things she said. But you know that wasn't her speaking you were able to remember the love she had shown you so many times over the years. You were able to remember how well she loved her grandchildren and how well she cared for them.

You didn't give up on her in the end, even through the frustration and the agony. You were still able to treat her with the respect that she deserved...that she had earned.

And I think of 1 Corinthians 15:55 "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" I pray that the pain that all of you have endured over these last months is vanquished with her death and the realization that her suffering is over and she is, at last, at peace and in the arms of our heavenly father.

God bless you, my friend.